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To prepare for a world in which the internet has shut down, I actually left my apartment and it was cold and things were expensive and I had to pay to watch bad USA original programs and people looked at me funny for being drunk so early and I didn’t see a single cat so I went back inside.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because Anthony Worrall Thompson had it stuffed down his jacket.


"In Thailand whores are treated like horses, by which I mean if they get an STI they get taken out back and shot."


every Christmas <3

omg i used to watch this every Christmas about 395683053 times when i was a kid.

(via delightfuldisney)

i can never choose a tumblr layout

it shouldnt be this stressful


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